Published on November 7th, 2012 | by Chris0
Flesh Wounds (2011)
I had originally hoped to watch Flesh Wounds and add it to the list of Halloween/War Movies, but I couldn't do it. Instead I'm adding this to the top (or is it the bottom?) of the Worst War Movie Challenge. Oh, man, this thing had so much cheese in it, there were mice knocking on my door asking to come it and use the bathroom. Right from the opening scene, which by the way, apparently has no relevance to the rest of the movie that I can tell.
It's like somebody had the bright idea of taking the good (read: original) parts of Predator (namely the invisible, tree-jumping monster with the infrared vision), blend that with some Star Trek Borg, back-story it with a government uber-soldier project, and turn the thing into a covert cleanup mission. What were you thinking? What?
OK, OK, maybe with a budget, some decent actors.... but no. I'm surprised Kevin Sorbo (Hercules, Andromeda) was as lackluster in this as he was. Paying the rent are we? Pretty much everyone else I'm not even going to mention. Well, except for Heather Marie Marsden as the required capable-hot-chick-tagalong. Only she's not that hot and not that capable. Mostly she's annoying. As is everyone else. The attempt at a straight-man-funny-man diversion with the big Puerto Rican guy was just dumb, as were his jokes. REALLY?
I'd better stop before I go too far. In case you couldn't tell, I didn't like Flesh Wounds at all. I had to stop myself from turning it off. The things I do for you people!!!
(fair warning, this trailer gets a little graphic for everyday eyes, but actually makes it look sort of interesting. It's not.)
|AWS Access Key ID: AKIAJQIHK5RZUQMMIHAQ. You are submitting requests too quickly. Please retry your requests at a slower rate.
Summary: "Let's see if we can copy 'Predator' and make it suck!"