Published on September 14th, 2012 | by Chris4
Hustler Squad (1976)
I don't even know how to describe Hustler Squad, its that bad. Even Dr. Forrester would have second thoughts on sending this up to the Satellite of Love, as it would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.
See, during WWII in the Philippines, Major Stoney Stonewell (no kidding) hatches a devious secret plan to infiltrate a Japanese brothel with four "secret agents" who's job it will be to kill four Japanese upper-echelon officers in the throes of, uh, passion, then get out again.
The premise just oozes bad alone, but the execution is what really takes it. Take for example their set which doubles as both the general's office AND a seedy nightclub. Seriously. Check out the 1960's paneling on the walls and the 70's avocado green curtains. Its the same place. You could have at least sprung for some vintage clothing or someone to do some proper 1940's hairstyles. You all look like you walked off the set of Charlies Angels or something.
It goes without saying that the acting is just bad. I don't think anyone had a stellar performance. Of course delivering dialogue like this must have been an insurmountable challenge.
Then there are the "Japanese" on the island. Most of which appear (and sound) to be Filipino extras. For the most part they act like 10-year olds trying to do their best inappropriate "chinaman" imitation, and failing miserably. The sole exception is the Admiral. Not sure how he got to be involved with this film, but he actually manages to deliver his lines in a believable way! Too bad he winds up dead a few minutes later. (Did I spoil it? DAMN!)
The actual "war movies" scenes are so bad. That annoying "metal wire snap" sound effect is used to the point of wearing out the loop (and the viewer), and the overacting on the part of the extras. "Oh! You got me! I'm dying!" (clutch heart and/or spread arms wide, look to the sky, fall down dramatically).... I just, I don't even.
If you ever have the rare opportunity to watch this movie, run, don't walk, in the complete opposite direction. Unless you are filled with the same morbid curiosity which has brought me to this point. "It's so bad, its good" does not apply here. Consider yourself lucky there are no clips or trailers on YouTube to share. Of course if you do find one, feel free to share.
I actually considered giving this zero stars. But that wouldn't exactly be fair. So 1/2 of a star it is.
Starlite Drive-In Theater: Hustler Squad/Wild Riders
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This collection presents a double feature of 1970s drive-in classics: in HUSTLER SQUAD (1976) Allied forces use combat-trained prostitutes to infiltrate a Japanese brothel during World War II; and in WILD RIDERS (1971) two murderous biker-gang members terrorize women at a secluded mansion only to have the tables turned on them in an orgy of revenge...
DVD InformationBinding: DVD
Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
Audience Rating: R (Restricted)
Brand: BCI ECLIPSE LLC
Manufacturer: Bci / Eclipse
Original Release Date:
- Alex Rocco
- Elizabeth Knowles
- Sherry Bain
- Arell Blanton
- Jax Jason Carroll
2 of 6 people found the following review helpful
Hustler Squad SUCK'S!!!!!,
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Starlite Drive-In Theater: Hustler Squad/Wild Riders (DVD)
I don't know about the movie Wild Riders because I wasn't interested, but here is my review on Hustler Squad:
The cover REALLY FOOLED ME!!! I feel like a sucker! I thought this movie was about five female soldiers that shoot up millions of ememies like in the movie Commando, Rambo 2 or The Losers. BUT NOOOO!!!! The girls didn't do ANYTHING!!! They just shot a couple of bad guys and left the rest of the enemies for the male soldiers! Of course, the action scenes were so-so, the graphics were blurred, and the story was stupid.
Another thing, the movie has only 3 action scenes: one at the begining, the second in the middle, and the third one at the end. The first and the third one were the longest but they were set at midnight, so you won't see the action so clear.
The only positive thing, is that the dvd has a cool intro with commercials, cartoons and movie previews before the movie starts. The rest is garbage.
PAY YOUR DUES,
This review is from: Starlite Drive-In Theater: Hustler Squad/Wild Riders (DVD)Hustler Squad:
The movie starts out with a failed raid by rebel Filipino forces against a Japanese stronghold. The Japanese plan of having their top brass all gather at a bordello on the island. Our military, lead by Major Stonewall (an unkempt John Ericson, Sam Bolt from TV series "Honey West") devises a plan to train and place four women in the midst of them. We meet the major in the middle of an improbable high stakes poker game where he bluffs his way through. He is chosen because he thinks outside the box. He meets with Paco Rodriguez (Ramon Revilla), the leader of the rebels as they openly discuss options while drinking in a public bar in Australia. After a bar fight where the guys get beaten up by a woman who knees them in a soft spot, Paco comes up with an idea of using women.
The first stop is a female prison. After the cat fight, Ericson selects imprisoned killer, Rose Carson (Nory Wright). She slit the throat of her boyfriend for sleeping with... Read more
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Summary: Avoid Hustler Squad at all costs. Unless you're trapped on a spaceship with two smart-mouthed robots.