1970s Hustler Squad (1976)

Published on September 14th, 2012 | by Chris

4

Hustler Squad (1976)

Movie by :
Cesar Gallardo and Richard Kanter

Reviewed by:
Rating:
1
On September 14, 2012
Last modified:October 24, 2012

Summary:

Avoid Hustler Squad at all costs. Unless you're trapped on a spaceship with two smart-mouthed robots.

Hustler Squad (1976)Oh my god, my sides.  When I started the Worst War Movies Challenge I had no idea how low I'd be sinking.

I don't even know how to describe Hustler Squad, its that bad.  Even Dr. Forrester would have second thoughts on sending this up to the Satellite of Love, as it would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

See, during WWII in the Philippines, Major Stoney Stonewell (no kidding) hatches a devious secret plan to infiltrate a Japanese brothel with four "secret agents" who's job it will be to kill four Japanese upper-echelon officers in the throes of, uh, passion, then get out again.

The premise just oozes bad alone, but the execution is what really takes it.  Take for example their set which doubles as both the general's office AND a seedy nightclub.  Seriously.  Check out the 1960's paneling on the walls and the 70's avocado green curtains.  Its the same place.  You could have at least sprung for some vintage clothing or someone to do some proper 1940's hairstyles.  You all look like you walked off the set of Charlies Angels or something.

It goes without saying that the acting is just bad.  I don't think anyone had a stellar performance.  Of course delivering dialogue like this must have been an insurmountable challenge.

Then there are the "Japanese" on the island.  Most of which appear (and sound) to be Filipino extras.  For the most part they act like 10-year olds trying to do their best inappropriate "chinaman" imitation, and failing miserably.  The sole exception is the Admiral.  Not sure how he got to be involved with this film, but he actually manages to deliver his lines in a believable way!  Too bad he winds up dead a few minutes later. (Did I spoil it? DAMN!)

The actual "war movies" scenes are so bad.  That annoying "metal wire snap" sound effect is used to the point of wearing out the loop (and the viewer), and the overacting on the part of the extras.  "Oh! You got me! I'm dying!" (clutch heart and/or spread arms wide, look to the sky, fall down dramatically)....  I just, I don't even.

If you ever have the rare opportunity to watch this movie, run, don't walk, in the complete opposite direction. Unless you are filled with the same morbid curiosity which has brought me to this point.  "It's so bad, its good" does not apply here.  Consider yourself lucky there are no clips or trailers on YouTube to share.  Of course if you do find one, feel free to share.

I actually considered giving this zero stars.  But that wouldn't exactly be fair.  So 1/2 of a star it is.

AWS Access Key ID: AKIAJQIHK5RZUQMMIHAQ. You are submitting requests too quickly. Please retry your requests at a slower rate.
Hustler Squad (1976) Chris

Summary: Avoid Hustler Squad at all costs. Unless you're trapped on a spaceship with two smart-mouthed robots.

.5

Oh, My Sides.


User Rating: 0 (0 votes)


About the Author

I've been watching war movies for probably 25 years now. Since December 2006 I've been sharing my habit and passion for these movies here on this site.



4 Responses to Hustler Squad (1976)

  1. the war movie buff says:

    How did you find it? How did you compile the list? I’d like to watchalong with you. More importantly, you do not mention if there is any nudity. Come on! That’s the most important information! I assume that because you can’t recommend it at all, there’s none. It still sounds better than “Braveheart”.

  2. Pingback: Worst War Movies Challenge | War Movie Blog

  3. Chris says:

    OK, snafu with comments fixed. whew. Here’s the main thread, Worst War Movies Challenge. Feel free to watch along, but be warned!!! 🙂 Feel free to offer your suggestions. Note that merely being historically and/or technically inaccurate doesn’t qualify.

  4. Chris says:

    I got the initial list from IMDB, but I’ve had a few suggestions along the way. I took a bit of a side track this past weekend, but will be getting back on track this coming Saturday (curse you Indiana Jones Blu Ray set, and your friends the Avengers!)

Leave a Reply

Back to Top ↑
  • Subscribe via E-mail!

    Get notifications, exclusive contests and offers, and more!
    * = required field
  • More War Movies

  • Large Association of Movie Blogs
  • Recent Comments

  • Facebook

  • Archives