Published on September 8th, 2012 | by Chris1
Zone Troopers (1985)
[Reviewed as part of the "Worst War Movies Challenge"!!]
"It takes war to another dimension!"
Boy, you can say that again. A dimension of suck.
Here's the gist: Squad stumbles on crashed alien spaceship in Germany during WWII. Gets captured by Nazis, befriends aliens, wins the day. Except, I mean, did it have to be so awful?
Take a look at that image to the left, apart from the grisly visage of "The Sarge" (Tim Thomerson) that artwork has little to do with what actually happens. How Thomerson and "Mittens" (Art LaFleur) got wrapped up in this I don't know. These two are actually the highlight of the film, as they seem to at least be having a great time being mediocre. "Joey" (Timothy Van Patten) and "Dolan" (Biff Manard) also appear to be enjoying themselves, but just don't pull off that "why am I here?" vibe as well.
I can't even say enough about the production. Filmed entirely in the space of about what looks like some farmer's backyard, they blew the entire budget on the crashed alien spaceship and its interior set. Then they blew it up. What they had left they used for the 2nd alien ship, which looks more like a carnival ride than a spaceship. The alien suits appeared to be an afterthought.
If it weren't for the fact that none of the four principal actors appear to be taking this seriously, it would be unwatchable. But watching them pull off the atrociously written dialogue while attempting to hold back their own laughter is priceless, and probably the film's only saving grace.
"So bad its good?" Not quite. Not even.
Oh, and the soundtrack. It's like they took the best of the 80's, rearranged a few notes, tossed it back in there and called it good. I recognized a few bits that sounded suspiciously like John Williams' Imperial March and more bits from "Empire", "Raiders", and more. Along with a few I couldn't put my finger on.
Don't let this trailer fool you, they just showed you all of the big money shots. Not even the running "can I get a smoke, Mittens?" joke is funny.
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1944, Italy. After a group of US troops witness an alien landing, they are quickly caught up in an adventure involving everything from Nazis to ray guns.When sold by Amazon.com, this product will be manufactured on demand using DVD-R recordable media...
DVD InformationBinding: DVD
Audience Rating: PG (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Original Release Date:
- Tim Thomerson
- Timothy Van Patten
- Art La Fleur
- Biff Manard
- Factory sealed DVD
Summary: Crashed alien ships in WWII Nazi Germany does not a good picture make. Not in this case, anyway.