Published on July 16th, 2012 | by Chris1
The Keep (1983)
OK, just word to the wise. This really isn't a war movie at all. Sure it is set in 1940's Germany and involves Nazis. But its not a war movie, word to the wise. Don't make the same mistake I did.
Matter of fact, just don't watch this. It's pretty lame. Nazis stumble on some strange occult temple thingy guarded by some Jews and awaken the monsters within. But quite frankly, this is pretty bad. I don't even want to try to explain.
Odd part is, you'd think with the celebrity surrounding this, it wouldn't suck so bad. Miami Vice's brainchild Michael Mann at the helm, star power such as Jurgen Prochnow (a couple short years after Das Boot no less), a younger Ian McKellen, Scott Glenn, Gabriel Byrne, Robert Prosky.... and to be fair, they all do a fair job at their performances. Really, best they can under the circumstances anyway.
But ultimately the shlockey effects, bad writing, bad directing and bad camera work just drag the thing down beyond all hope. Sorry, but this gets a lowly 3/10. Only that high because of the (almost) redeeming work of McKellen and company.
Here's a taste. Don't say I didn't warn you!
(Protip: When the mysterious priest guy says don't touch shit. Don't touch it!!! That is all!)
Summary: Sure it is set in 1940's Germany and involves Nazis. But its not a war movie, word to the wise. Don't make the same mistake I did.