Published on February 15th, 2011 | by Chris2
Tank Battalion (1958)
Wow. Just wow. What a totally dreadful movie.
OK, it starts out well enough, with a group of guys in a tank under fire in combat during the Korean war. Mission accomplished, they head back to base after about five minutes of screen time.
And then they get stuck there shmoozing it up with the nurses and the hot Korean chick who works at the base club ("Egg Charlie's" eh, WTF?). And they continue to do this for most of the movie. Honestly, I was sitting there going "I thought this was a war movie that involved a tank!?" (I guess my first clue should have been the poster... DO YOU SEE A TANK HERE?)
Then (FINALLY!!) they get to go back out on a mission again. They get damaged by a grenade, and wind up stuck and pinned down by an enemy machine gun. One of them manages to get out, find a replacement part, fix the tank, and then they triumphantly roll on out.
This last part could have been pretty good, if it hadn't been for the entire rest of the movie. By that point, however, I was laughing pretty hard. I kept checking the corner of the screen to see if Joel, Crow, and Servo had shown up yet.
And don't get me started about the inside of their tank. Looked like they had room to stretch out and sleep in there. Come on, guys. Give us the benefit of the doubt here that we DON'T know its cramped and uncomfortable in there....
Would also have been nice if they could make up their mind what sort of tank they were driving as well. I probably saw at least three different kinds rolling around that was supposed to be them....
It doesn't look like this is on DVD (whew) and I can't find any record of this on YouTube, so I guess you're spared that much. I saw this via Netflix Streaming on my Roku, so the only thing I was out was the hour-and-a-half of my Saturday morning. Blech.
Here's the IMDB page if you are so inclined....